We filed for divorce today.
We met at a swanky little breakfast place. We chatted about the kids, the dogs, the weather. We filled out the paperwork and off we went. While we were in line, we joked and laughed.
He paid for my parking and gave me some money for school supplies. We laughed some more and said our goodbyes.
As I was watching him drive up the interstate behind me I was surprised at how casual the morning was. I grappled with the idea that it was so easy—a relationship that begins with such love and respect within a matter of 30 minutes and some paperwork is done, yet I am grateful that there was no need for drama, attorneys and nastiness.
It wasn’t until later in the day that the finality of it all hit me. And yes, there was sadness. Sadness for what could have been. Sadness for what was once there. And then I remembered the wise words that I recently read: each challenge is an opportunity to grow. We have the choice to either take the challenge as a time to allow ourselves to become part of the ‘story’ and live as a victim OR we can choose to find gratitude in the challenge and look for growth.
I choose to be grateful. I have found a space of peace around my marriage, and its ending. It was not a failure.
It was one of the greatest gifts I will receive.