finding success

The pain that I hear from my girl.  The uncomfortable feeling that she feels in her own body.  The suffering.  The agitation. The cries of  “I don’t care, leave me alone, just go away”. Mostly because school starts in 2 days.

Breaks a momma’s heart.

I feel as though her future is right in my face.  I can’t turn from it, I can’t look away.  Everywhere I look, there it is.  Anxiety is impacting every moment of her life. And will, possibly forever.

 Why are we having to waste 3 1/2 more years sitting in classrooms (mostly unsuccessfully) when what she needs is community skills, job skills, safety, self advocating?  How did inclusion turn into missing the purpose of the ‘indivudualized’ needs?   School is not success for her, and it isn’t going to be. Ever.  It increases anxiety and sense of failure.  

Success would reduce anxiety.  It would allow connection.  Purpose.  She might feel valued. 

Inclusion.  Classrooms.  High school credits.  Success. I am not sure they go together for my girl. Yet, that “individualized education plan” says it can. 

IEP.  hmmm, I suppose schools want to show high academic achievements, not excellence in special education. 

Finding the next 3 1/2 years to be successful for her is my work.


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