It seems that milestones will be challenging no matter how many that my girl and I go through together.
Turning 16 is a big one. While she is choosing what next Nintendo game she wants with an intermittent request for a car, it is yet another opportunity to find gratitude in what is, and acknowledge and grieve what isn’t.
I know what is. She is funny, challenging and she dreams big. She loves animals, chips and salsa and chocolate. She tries hard, she is developing a deep sense of empathy (yea!), she worries about interesting things and she has never lost a beloved item. She knows exactly what she wants and prefers to not be encouraged by others. She laughs at her brother and she gets worried when things don’t seem quite right with me.
And since I don’s have another daughter, I can only guess what isnt’. There isn’t drama over clothes, tearful driving lessons or expensive hair appointments. No broken hearts, no houseful of teenage girls squealing over the latest heart-throb and no worries over getting a prom date. There isn’t concern of ACT, college essays or letters of recommendations. There isn’t arguing over curfews. No questions about boys, future and what to do. Laughter while shopping or having an unexpected lunch is nonexistent. Late at night conversations about nothing and everything don’t happen.
Turning 16 won’t change what is. Or what isn’t.
I know that for now, allowing myself to see what isn’t will help remind me of what IS.