I have decided that a new full time position in the district and a full time caseload of cna for my girl just not quite enough. I have enrolled in full time college courses online. Crazy it may seem to some, impossible to imagine and perhaps even ridiculous. Add in a middle school boy with his own set of medical worries and a Triennial IEP that will dictate the remaining 3 years of high school for my girl. An older son struggling to find his way in the world. Volunteer Yoga to adults with disabilities. And finally, an autoimmune disease that is frankly, kicking my butt.
Why? Why would I embark on such a rigorous schedule? Why would I add to my already very full plate? I have contemplated those questions for what would probably be hours and hours over the last few months.
And the answer that I come up with today is because I can. Because I am smart enough, creative enough, and even worthy enough. I need to prove to myself that I am capable of learning algebra. I can write papers and study for exams. I can do this. I can enjoy the opportunities in front of me to learn. I may find something in me that I never knew existed.
The new job will be a learning curve, but one that I have passion for and know that I will be totally supported. The cna job is bottom line a blessing. My middle school son just may become my study buddy and we can use each of our strengths and weaknesses to support each other. The TRI will be the TRI. Goals will be set to be the most meaningful and functional public high school will offer. My oldest will be okay. Yoga to my special young people will fill my soul with meaning. And for the crappy autoimmune disease, it just is—it might get better, it might not.
What I do know, is that I am grateful for the support that I have in my life today that offers me this chance to be all that I can be. Student. Mother. Community Coach. Advocate. Yoga Instructor. Dog Walker. Warrior Goddess.