Determining lack of emotion, lack of expression of lack of emotion, or simply Autism is a difficult concept to attempt to figure out.

Is the lack of emotion, or specifically the lack of attachment, that I witness in my girl a complexity of her not knowing what to do with the emotion, know how to express the emotion or does she really have a lack of attachment?

Her emotional outbursts are often in relation to a difficult peer at school where she will demonstrate ‘drama’ about not being apologized to, looked at the wrong way, etc.  Aside from this one trigger, I rarely see emotion beyond the underlying anxiety that causes her to be silent at times of change or expectation.

But I am referring to  the emotion that runs deeper.  The loss of father figures in her life, the loss of a pet, the worry of mom being sick, the love for her family. Most times, when there is not a direct relation to how something will effect her—mom is sick, therefore dinner will be cereal–there is no emotion, or attachment, to others or others’ feelings.

How do you teach attachment?  Will she find value in relationships that go beyond her immediate needs?

Seems so lonely.  Yet, this is a perfect example of a question I ask myself frequently, ‘is this my stuff?’, since she seems perfectly fine not holding onto old pain and old losses.  She lives in the moment.

Is that not what I strive to do everyday?


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