Whelp I did it. I came to the realization that it is not ideal for me to be the person that wears all the hats. I know that I certainly can wear them all, and wear them all effectively, but in the bigger scheme of things, this is not about me.
It is about the girl.
I came to learn this weekend that it is best for her that I let go of some of the roles I have had. I realize that mom/daughter time is useful and indeed needed, but to be able to balance that with someone close to her age doing activities with her is truly the ideal.
Never one to relinquish the reins to someone else, I struggled with this idea initially. Hiring someone to come hang out with my girl, take her to our favorite lunch spot, get a pedicure, see a movie, or to go shopping seemed to me like I was handing over the reins. And then reality came to me and I saw the potential of someone else in her life, doing normal young adult activities together, and I soon called upon the troops to find the candidate. Besides (I rationalized), I hate movies and shopping, so it certainly cannot be fun with me anyway.
Within a few hours, I have not only handed over the reins, but the horse itself. At least for one day a week in the summer. A day when she can be with a young adult girl doing things that young adults do, without me. And I will have a half day to be with my boy, or be with myself, or just be.
Money super well spent I say. And a day a week where there is one less hat for me to wear.