I can.

I woke this morning feeling once again sullen.  Days and days of feeling this way, I was frustrated at the sense of a wet blanket over my typically joyful attitude.

I examined why I may be feeling this way and quickly came up with some reasons. Externally, my lifelong city has endured a horrific wildfire and many homes were lost. Seeing and smelling the smoke, continuous news reports, and knowing the devastation, is heart wrenching.  Internally the list is plenty; my yoga business is on hiatus, my back hurts daily, decisions about the back remain unknown, my girl is quickly regressing in the summer, there is a fear of expectations, a dear friends cancer diagnosis, financial stressors, and a dear dog–who swings from sweet to aggression in seconds–in which I am beginning to  believe is bi-polar.

So in my stagnant state of gloom, I realized today (after shaking my hips through Aqua Zumba), that despite the external and internal turmoil, I have choice.

I have choice to be sullen, or I have choice to be joyful.  Yes, all those above listed items create sadness, worry, anger, disappointed, etc. BUT in the midst of all those factors, I can choose to look at this moment and find joy.  I can be extremely grateful for all that I have.

I can.  And I am.