How I make sense of the stuff that shows up in my life is a quandary. I like to think that they are all interconnected to help me become the best human being possible and to ensure that whatever lessons I am meant to learn in this lifetime, I learn.
Highs and lows with the girl continue. One day she is courageously attempting something new and challenging and the next day she fails to ask me a simple question. Saturday has always been her laundry day and while I celebrate the independence in which she has become her routine, I am defeated when I switch from liquid detergent to ‘pods’ and rather than ask what to do, she simply washes her clothes with no soap. On another occasion she comes to me with eyes wide and says not a word–only after I initiate, she tells me the rain was flooding into her window. Yet, I see her strap on water skis and take off attached to a speed boat.
My back continues to be a life changing event. Sitting is nearly impossible. Yoga poses that require sitting no longer are available to me and driving is difficult. My job starts up in a few weeks and I have fear in how I will handle the sitting and the driving. Somehow I am learning to adapt and I am learning to live with daily physical pain.
This morning I drug my feet while headed to teach yoga. Feeling uninspired this morning, I drove to the gym telling myself that it is just an hour, and I get paid to practice yoga so just do it. Within a few minutes of the class starting, I was in the yoga-zone and my heart flowed with ease. The mental shift came after just a few minutes and I became grounded in my awareness of my body and of the people in my class. Not having a plan is often the best way to allow the natural unfolding to occur. After class, a regular student who always makes a point to thank me approached with tears in his eyes and blurted out that he had been diagnosed last week with cancer and that this yoga class helps him.
Could it be that all of these recent experiences are opportunities for me to have a greater awareness of the journey in which humans endure? Is there a beautiful theme of surrender and acceptance?
I think these are all beautiful examples of grace.