Lessons of faith

Fear:  distressing emotion aroused by impending danger, evil, pain, etc., whether the threat is real or imagined; the feeling or condition of being afraid.  

Faith:  confident belief in the truth, value, or trustworthiness of a person, idea, or thing.

Prior to about eight years ago every area of my life was faced from the place of fear. I managed all of my decisions from the place of impending threat and I lived much of my life afraid. To manage this fear I would spend an enormous amount of time configuring different scenarios in my mind with various responses to whatever scenario may or may not play out. My internal dialogue almost always included the word if.  (If this happens, then I will do this.  If that happens, then I will this. If he says that, I will say this.) To have an internal dialogue that includes the word if is most certainly not living in the present moment and definitely living in fear.

Then slowly, I began to awaken. I began to see that my life and every event in my life is perfect in its unfolding. It seemed that as I began to awaken, I started to hear the internal wisdom of my self that offered a comfort of the present moment and a reminder of faith. I began to hear the silence of my own knowing and the internal dialogue of questions subsided. I began to be confident in the truth.

Over time and continued vigilance, I started to shift how I would experience events in my life from a place of fear to a place of faith. In doing this, I began to know peace and great joy. I saw the events in my life–even the most heartbreaking–as divine and beautiful opportunities for me to gain wisdom, forgiveness, love, and acceptance.

Recently, I had been wrestling with a very difficult situation in my life. Unaware that I was back into my old pattern of useless internal dialogue, I was spending a very large amount of my time and energy playing out in my mind as many possible future-based scenarios that could possibly occur. If, and what if, and then if, and if.  Fear.

Recently I woke with a jolt and I heard the softness of my self telling me that every other aspect of my life I face with faith.  The voice suggested I would find peace when I hand this difficult situation over to faith. I might also find perfection.

For days leading up to the moment where I was to face this situation, I practiced seeing this situation through the eyes of faith. I saw that every aspect of this situation as perfect.  I trusted in the unfolding and the timing. I began to not only see this with faith, but I felt it with faith. I no longer had fear. I lost the word if. 

I opened up to the light of faith and let go of the darkness of fear.  And all is well and perfect.  I was given a great opportunity to learn and to be reminded to face all things from a place of faith and that everything happens for a reason.

Let go of fear and embrace faith.

To fear is to expect punishment.  To love is to know we are immersed , not in darkness, but in light.~Mother Theresa





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