Many of my followers may have noticed that my blog posts have lessened over the past month or so. It seems that the anticipation of the graduation and the subsequent crash of emotions, I am pondering what it next for me and the girl.
This blog began as a place to put my thoughts and feelings about the journey of parenting my daughter who has a disability and her brothers. Over time, it also became a place where I logged the highs and lows of my own journey. For those who have read this blog from the start, you may have witnessed the evolving of my self.
As I go back into the blog there is a sense of distance from the years of advocating that required so much energy. As I read the old posts I am able to step back and recall the feelings that I was experiencing while writing them. There are some very sad posts and some very inspiring posts. As I read them, I find myself thinking about who I was at the time of the publishing of each post.
Over the life of the blog I have married and divorced. I have sold my home and moved. I have lost two dogs. I watched my oldest go through an experience that mother’s fear. I have lost weight and gained weight and lost weight again. I have said goodbye to friends. I have healed wounds. I reclaimed the little girl in my soul. I have found a life partner. I discovered countless trails. I experienced a practice of surrender and patience. I discovered my purpose.
So many questions run through my mind as I think about this blog. I ask myself if it has run its course. Did it meet my needs to share my life raising her? Do I end this chapter of my life and write a final post? What is next? And is it worthy of keeping the blog.
Time will tell.