Step by step. Mile by mile.

Step after step.  Mile after mile.  Sometimes the route takes me along a quiet trail and sometimes it takes me along the bustling streets of the morning commute. Either way, I am lost within my own head and it is glorious.

This is my time.  My time to look at myself and the choices I make.  It is my time to look at my hopes and my dreams.  It is my time to walk out my fears and any sadness that creeps in.  It is my time to plan and to reflect.  It is my time to be.

Step by step.  Mile by mile.

As I rounded down a street yesterday I had a moment of where I imagined myself as an older person.  My internal dialogue was obscure and scattered yet it also revealed much of what I already know. What kind of dog might I be walking then? Something smaller that I could handle easier. Would I still enjoy long walks alone? Absolutely. Do you think that you will be alone? Oh yes, my nature is solitude. Wonder why you have always preferred to be alone, especially in the early hours of the day? There is safety in being alone. 

My chatter became more varied. I wonder what the people in these houses are doing? Making breakfast for someone.  Facing death.  Getting children ready to go swimming.  Feeling excitement about a new baby.  Fighting.  Worrying about money. Watering plants. Feeding the dog. Look at that dog laying in the sun.  He looks content. That garden looks neglected. The lonely pumpkin vine looks dry. 

Step by step.  Mile by mile.

I traipse alone my way winding myself home.  Grateful for the time for myself.  Grateful for the internal thoughts and conversations that clear out the clouds within my head.  Grateful to be me.

 

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