I cherish these days more than any other of the year. The week between the madness of the holiday rush and the stillness of the long winter days of January. The days that I spend in retrospect and in delving into the inner workings of my heart and desires. Despite my acknowledgement that the turning of a calendar can be a premeditated disappointed–also known as expectation–I am so ready to begin anew again.
As I sit and review my journal from this year, I turn to the first entry. Often the first entry of a year is one that includes a word or phrase that will guide me throughout the year. The word either comes to me in mediation or in thought form, either way it has been insightfully correct each year.
2013’s first entry was the word grace. As I reviewed the definition of grace (seemingly effortless beauty or charm, divine love bestowed freely on people, and an excellence of power granted by God), I page through the entries and look back onto the year. I look within the lines of experiences and emotions penned on the pages for the insights of grace.
In the moments of decision-making and impending changes. In the witnessing of my girl graduating. In the recognition of grief that sneaks up on a mother of a child with a disability. In the outpouring of love. In the receiving of humility. In saying goodbye to my first love. In watching my children rise to great levels of compassion and love. In loving my children as they grieved the loss of their dad. In accepting a temporary state of pain and fear. In wholehearted efforts. In moments when I have been forced to accept what I have been given. In loving. In being loved.
I plan to spend the next four days of this year relishing in moments of grace. In doing so, I will prepare to close out this year as it began and make space for the next amazing inspiration to come.