There are moments when I least expect it that the presence of my former husband is so strong. At times I question this, mostly because it wasn’t as if we were particularly close at the time of his death, and other times because I have never sensed someone who has passed in this way. His presence in my life now feels more valuable and more real than anything that we shared while he was living.
Before his death, there was an energy between that was tainted with past hurts and disappointments. The few times we spoke the tension was so evident. Not long after our interaction would end, I could feel intuitively the disconnect and negativity that was always present.
Now, there is a soft comfort that envelopes me as I sense his presence. There is a knowing that he is free and he is okay. We have these very deep “conversations” about the kids that we could never have had while he was alive.
These moments come when I am quiet, still, and open-hearted. Usually after or during meditation, or while I rest in the final pose of my yoga practice. Sometimes I sense him while I walk in the very early hours of the day.
No matter the time, the sensations are the same. And for this long overdue “relationship”, I am grateful.