One year ago today, I had the big joint on my first toe replaced. What was anticipated to be an easy in/easy out surgery ended up to be a year-long challenge. The lessons were many and the gifts embedded within the pain have been ones that will forever be cherished. Just a few of the richness that ‘this little piggy’ taught me:
1. I am deeply loved. The people in my circle rallied around for my greater good and showed me unconditional love. Over and over again.
2. I am resilient beyond measure. Just when the toe began to feel better, the blood clot made itself known. Just when the blood clot resolved, the toe needed another surgery. Just when the toe felt better, I re-injured my back. Throughout, my spirit remains uplifted.
3. I am worthy. Yes, I am. Of love, of health, of friendships, of acceptance. Indeed I am .
4. I am grace. Not always graceful physically speaking as I grunt and groan coming down stairs, but I am grace. I am tender and I am kind and refined. I speak with grace.
5. I am humbled. I am no longer twenty years old. I heal slower and I hurt more. And yet, I am so grateful for my body and the ability to experience life.
6. Accepting help is easier as time goes on. A once dominated root-chakra-independent-woman-who-never-accepted-offers-for-help, I am now much softer. Needing assistance getting your pants on, or being driven everywhere for 7 weeks makes one quickly shed her armor. Learning to say ‘can you help me’ has been life changing.
7. My body is capable of great things. When I listened, I heard the signs of something wrong and I acted. Knowing my body, really knowing my body, has been a gift. Appreciation for my body has helped me to see all that it is capable of.
8. Patience. For myself and for others.
9. More patience. More for myself and my body.
10. One weak part leads to a wrath of compensation and misalignment. The toe is connected to foot that is connected to the ankle that is connected to leg that is connected to the hip that is connected to the back that is connected to the shoulders that is connected to the neck. You get it.
On this special day of remembering all that I have endured, I am taking my first ever adult ballet class. I am loving my toe, loving my body, and loving the little girl in me that has always wanted the ballet slippers and tutu. Plié on!