Little Did I Know

Little did I know how a divine meeting and some play with paintbrushes would lead me down the path to the present. 

Little did I know that through trials I would crack away the armor that has protected me for a lifetime. 

Little did I know that the capacity to yearn for someone else could come from the depths of this independent woman. 

Little did I know how the desire to be better would take me falling face down and risking it all. 

Little did I know that I am worthy and that I am good.

Little did I know that I am totally and completely all in.

My life had begun to change early January of 2015, if not before, as I began to listen to the inner voice nudging me that my current situation was blanketing my essence. Tired of hearing and feeling I was not enough, the spiral into ruins began the early months of 2015. At the time, I was preparing to just break free of the pain I was in and was in no way looking for anything other than soul work.

The Universe had a different plan.

It happened like this.

He reached for my hand to shake it and I instead asked for hug. A few weeks later, I painted.  A few more weeks, I painted again.

The process of ‘painting my soul’ required me to open the door ever so slightly to my inner thoughts and feelings. Through those two creative  processes part of my story was shared. A friendship had begun.

As I moved out of my home and left a life behind, he watched from the sidelines my decision-making, my crazy relentless schedule and my own process of healing.

Months went by and a closeness came.  More months went by and a tenacity came.  More months went by and clarity that only comes after a storm came.

Today, there is a beautiful space of connection and love. There is contentment that is immeasurable.  There is spaciousness and freedom.

Little did I know what a year could do. 

 

 

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